Losing weight is hard! I need stranger’s advice!

So I’m fat. I’m really sorry if this offends you. I would love some angry advice from random strangers on how to fix this! Maybe a few memes of fat people falling over would help too!

Let’s go through the list:

  1. Join the gym: Good Idea! I joined over 2 years ago and have been going on average 4 times a week. I’ve gained muscle but have not lost that much fat.
  2. Eat less: Great advice! I’ve stopped eating so much, switched to smaller meals with more fibre and protein, for example swapping cereal for 2 eggs for breakfast. It is ineffective!
  3. Eat a salad: Yep! I normally have a nice healthy salad for lunch with a little vinegar, no effect.
  4. Smoothies! Yep! I have replaced the evening meal with a vegetable-based smoothie.
  5. walk more: Yes, good advice, only I normally walk the dog for around 45 minutes and walk to the shops on a regular basis.
  6. swimming: Yes once a week.
  7. give up coffee: NEVER! is this a joke.

So yes! Any angry advice would be great because I’m running out of ideas. I have tried fasting and HITT and a bunch of other things too.

 

Excerpts from Copper Blood, a book by David Beck.

Copper Blood is going well. I have written another 25000 words and I’m loving writing the story!

The books currently called Copper Blood, its set in a dystopian future and centers around a special 17-year-old called Sam who has spent his whole life in a self-contained boarding school called the Eden Academy. Sam has to sink or swim when he’s forced out of his school by a terrorist attack on the building. Sam explores this strange new world where the gap between the rich and the poor is huge; where global governance has broken down and where a secret war waged in the shadows. Sam also has a secret that could cost him his life.


I’m aiming for about 90,000 to 110,000 words, Here are some early excerpts:

Sam wasn’t sure if he was dreaming… he didn’t even know if he was awake, but he did know something… or someone was at the door. His heart thumped in his chest and his body froze in terror. His eyes were eyes wide with fear as he stared at the door. Did he hear a knock or did he dream it? Images of the cyborgs were still running through his head. Sam remembered the subdued fear Mr Morris had tried to hide and that strange lady he had seen in the corridor, could it be her at the door? Another three loud knocks rang through the door. Sam knew for sure someone was there now.”

Sam turned off the light and laid back on the bed. Sleep didn’t find him as quickly this time after his nightmare. He wondered who the lady in the corridor was who peeked through the crack in her door. He felt sure that she had turned her light off earlier when he and Morris were being escorted home by that androgynous cyborg. A terrifying revelation suddenly dawned on him that made the hairs on his neck stand on end, the light Sam had seen flicker off earlier was his light! He recounted the windows in his mind, his was the third window on the third floor… his room. Someone else; apart from Mr Morris must have a key. Sam wondered if he was safe; would this elusive person return when he was sleeping? He looked over at the steel table behind the door, it was laying on its side and had been bolted down; shotgun shells at its base. Was someone looking for the room’s former occupant?”.

It’s still early days, but I’m starting to care about what happens to these characters.

Thank you for reading. Do you have an idea or a comment? I would love to hear from you on the contact page.

Five years in jail for women who ’emotionally bully’ husbands

Bullies who emotionally abuse partners face up to five years in prison.

Under laws coming into force today, anyone who inflicts psychological cruelty on their other halves can be prosecuted – even if there is no direct physical harm.

For the first time, domestic abusers who stop short of lashing out at their victims will be targeted with a new offence where there is evidence of ‘coercive and controlling behaviour’.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3376846/Five-years-jail-men-emotionally-bully-wives-New-law-target-bullies-control-partners-coercive-controlling-behaviour.html#ixzz4VAv33o6E
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Mike Pence Brain Replaced with Crucifix!

Mike Pence Vice president-elect of the United States of America

Mike Pence, Vice president-elect of the United States of America has today announced he will be the first Republican to have his brain entirely replaced with an idol of The Lord©. 

The surgery will be performed by a crack team of priests after doctors declined to operate saying ‘Idolatry is forbidden in the Bible’.

 

The Lead priest stated:

‘The key step in making Brain to Cross transplants (B2C) possible is the ability to connect nerve fibers from the Crucifix to the native spinal cord’

 

Mike Pence is expected to make a full recovery with no decline in cognitive functioning.

governor_pence_official_headshot

Prior to being appointed ‘Evangelical cheerleader’ by Donald Trump Mr Pence was famous for not understanding what a scientific theory was.

He’s also a favorite of the billionaire Koch brothers who’s business models involve making the earth uninhabitable.

Pence also enjoys removing LGBT rights supporting the rights of business to deny service to people based on their sexuality.